It’s Australia Day. The day where we are all supposed to paint our faces with yellow and green zinc cream and shout “oi,oi, oi”.
How will I be “celebrating” Australia Day?
Here’s a list of things I don’t plan to do:
1. sing waltzing matilda
2. wear a hat with corks around it
3. boil a billy
4. make a beer damper
5. eat a beer damper
6. drape myself in the Australian flag
7. fly the Australian flag from my car and/or house
8. begin liking Shane Warne, Lleyton Hewitt or Andrew Symonds (yes people Andrew has joined the list)
9. eat lamingtons.
10. have a barbeque with lamb
11. have a barbeque with any other kind of meat (i.e. sausages, steak)
12. eat prawns or any other kind of seafood that people like to drool over (i.e. crab, bugs, lobster, etc).
13. sing the national anthem
14. play backyard cricket
15. play frontyard cricket
16. play any sport of any kind in either the front, back or side yards, or indeed at the beach
17. go to the beach.
18. wear board shorts, thongs, zinc cream of any colour, or one of those yellow and green sombreros
19. drink beer
20. say “strewth”, “stone the flamin’crows”, “how the bloody hell are ya” or any other Aussie phrases favoured by Alf on Home and Away. (btw is Alf still on Home and Away?)
Things I do plan to do on Australia Day
1. Wash the towels
2. Eat watermelon
3. Stuff about on the Internet
4. Watch the tennis
5. Have a nap
6. Continue working on my reference list
7. Put away all my washing – neatly.
8. Run the airconditioning
9. Continue reading the book on the Go-Betweens.
10. Go to choir tonight
11. Watch more episodes of 30 Rock
12. Continue reading biography of FDR
13. Listen to the parrots in the tree outside
14. Blog (hey I’m doing that now)
15. Talk to the cat (but not so much that I qualify as a crazy cat lady just yet)
16. Enjoy the rain
17. Complain about the humidity, and summer in general
18. Wear clothes that aren’t yellow and green
19. Wear clothes that aren’t marked, embellished or accessorised by the Australian flag
20. Drink water, coffee, tea and maybe splash out with Bundy brewed drinks Lemon, Lime and Bitter
Happy Australia Day. Let’s celebrate the fact that we are all able to celebrate as we like. Or indeed, not celebrate it all if that is our preference.
(I think I’ve got enough things on my second list to avoid being carted off by the un-Australian police though…)