Everything is in place for my viewing of The Amazing Race. I have chamomile tea (in case the amazingness gets too exciting and I need calming), I have eaten a yummy piece of a chocolate brownie (only the second piece today – very restrained), I’m sitting on the new comfy lounge and I am watching Morag and Alf have a little spat at the end of Home and Away. I wonder when Pippa will appear. Or Bobby. Or Milko. Hmmmm. It has been some time since I watched Home and Away. Oh dear, someone seems to be throwing themselves into the sea. I’m sure it will all be fine. Gee teenagers do have a lot of problems don’t they?
Moving on now. Hurry up Channel Seven.
Previously etc…..Siberia, the wood piles, the shutter challenge, the spelling of Chekhov. It was less than exciting.
Where to tonight dear host man Phil?? ooops…nearly forgot Amanda and Kris got the blind u-turn from Margie and Luke. This update is taking WAY too long. I am so addicted to capitals when watching these reality shows. Once again I stress, they are emphasis not shouting.
Exciting theme music…beats, strings, etc.
Still in Russia to start with. Wooo..check that swift cinematography. Here is host man Phil with some Russian dancers. And not very annoyingly he is recapping the recap. Pretty, it’s snowing outside. And the teams are getting on a train. Amazing. The flight attendants get to leave first. Then the sisters. The snow is cold apparently. Who’d thunk it?
Oh only one train. So everyone gets on together. Mike White is quoting the Bible to delight of his Daddy. And we pull out of Siberia. Margie and Luke are chatting on the train.
Right still waiting for something amazing. Here’s Tammy and Victor the siblings. They’re smiling – I wonder how long that will last for.
(Geez that TV Burp looks chronic. And Here’s Curtis with his 10 dollar meals he’s cooking for the corporate supermarket devil down at the crossroads. Wendy sips her tea, calms down and marvels at the number of ads)
Back to Russia at the other end of the train journey. Running, backpacks, shouting. Taxis. The nice cheerleaders work together with Margie and Luke. That’s cute. Because I reckon Margie and Luke will stab anyone in the eye to win. As well they should.
The short stuntmen catch a cab. (Unlike the Channel 7 promo dept I refuse to call them midgets). Again with the Stravinkyesque score. Without it, this would all look a whole lot less amazing.
Detour! Choices – Russian Bride or Russian Snow Plow. Both involve driving a Lada. One to take a bride to her groom, the other to find a plow and do some plowing. OK…I’m waiting for some amazing here people. Everyone stops for directions. Victor gets some instruction but doesn’t tell anyone else. HAHA…everyone is following them anyway. Now Victor is scabbing off Margie’s directions and then took off. Nobody likes you Victor. Especially Margie and Luke.
(More ads…more tea)
Back, still with the taxi-directions dilemma. Margie’s worked out they can’t trust Victor. Too right Margie. The flight attendants have chosen the bride, the short stuntmen the snowplow. Kisha and Jen the sisters have chosen the brides – and driving the whole way in first gear. Mel and Mike are going for the brides as well. Oooh they’ve found the bride. Now they’re all in the Lada. The cheerleaders and MArgie and Luke have now CAUGHT UP to Victor and Tammy. Good!
Everyone’s running for the snowplows. It’s like a monster obstacle course.
Back with the brides, Mel and Mike and their bride are looking for the church. The cheerleaders got distracted by some drunken Russians. Stereotype anyone?
Now we’re back on familiar ground with Victor bossing Tammy around as she takes her turn in the plow.
The cheerleaders are having their turn, as are Margie and Luke. Margie did quite badly. Kisha and Jen and the cheerleaders have found their brides. Darn it back at the plows Victor and Tammy are winning. So they get to go to…..the amazing library! Amazing. Closely followed by Margie and Luke and their cheerleaders.
Now the short stuntmen have arrived at the snowplow while Mel and Mike have found the church and the grooms. They’re off to the library as well. The flight attendants have picked up a guide. Lucky because i think they’re almost coming last. Amazing, the short stuntment did very well with the plows. Maybe they’ve done some plow stunt work before. And we go to the ads with the flight attendants at the WRONG CHURCH.
(Ads…Livio! Yay!)
Lost flight attendants asking for direction. How did they get so lost. That bride must be freezing in her wedding dress. MEanwhile back at the winning end of the race Margie and Luke and the cheerleaders have found the library. Oh and everybody’s unfavourite pair of sibling lawyers – Tammy and Victor.
Oh no! Some underwear running in the snow. Running in their underwear to the ballet theatre pit stop. Now this is a little bit more amazing I guess. I imagine that cold weather would make you run pretty quickly. Is anyone surprised that Victor got out of this one. Tammy takes over Cara but I think Luke is in the lead. Dear me Mike is going to run. Which of the stuntmen will choose the undie run? Well one did but I can’t tell them apart.
(Ads…double take looks a bit poor as well. Has anyone tried the new vegemite. Looks pretty yucky)
Oh Kisha and Jen sisters are still looking for the church with their bride as well. Looks like the plow was the best choice. At least these sisters are in the right place. They don’t know about the underwear racing yet though. And now the flight attendants have managed to land themselves in last place.
And the cheerleaders are doubting Victor’s integrity as well. YAY Margie and Luke have made it to the ballet first! Where’s host man Phil.Here. Margie and Luke you are team number ONE! Cue screaming and jumping up and down. Can someone give that poor boy some clothes?
Right …now let’s see who comes in last. The flight attendants and the sisters haven’t even made it to the library to start of the race.
(ads…leaving Kisha and Jen stuck in a broken car in crazy Russian traffic. Don’t fret. I’m sure they’ll make it. Or not.)
See, the car started right after we got through all those ads. Mel and Mike you are team number FOUR.
Mark and Michael (short stuntmen) Team number FIVE.
Kisha and Jen you are Team number SIX
Flight attendants you are the last team to arrive. Oh TWISTAROONI…a non-elimination round! They’re still in but they will have a speedbump next round.
The end!
Amazing-ish I guess.