Tuesday: Time Team
Reasons to watch Time Team on Tuesday evenings

1. Baldrick (oops…I mean Tony Robinson) – who manages to make archaeology (which I think is a distinctly untelevisual topic) even mildly interesting

2. The crazed hair archaeologist Phil – who gets excited at dirt of all consistences and colours

3. The other white haired archaeologist with the colourfully striped jumper – maybe his name is Mick?

4. It’s not the news

5. The Tour de France was on a rest day so no 6pm highlights

Does anyone else remember the entertaining storytelling monologues Tony Robinson did many years ago – something like “Fat Tulip and Friends” – perhaps screening on the ABC around 4:30? (when I say many years ago it could be about 20!). Aaaah…good times.

Back on Time Team – I’m sure there’s a wonderful drinking game that could played – based on the number of times in any given episode they mention “geophys”…or is that “geofizz”…?

Wednesday: This is your Life: Bert Newton’s 70th Birthday
Well firstly I would have guessed Bert was a little older than 70. That hair – or rather, the nylon that is doing a poor impression of hair – is not aging gracefully. The Newtons played happy families and Australian tv personalities all trotted out to fawn over Bert. Surely, no-one can be that fantastic all the time! Never mind, the work with Graham Kennedy always holds its own, and Bert remains the master of the double entendre. A little respect for the institution people. Plus he accompanied me through many a dull morning during the mid-90s transtition from uni to employment with Good Morning Australia.

Wednesday: Spicks and Specks
As my father observed, it’s a bit chronic. But, if you’re at home on a Wednesday evening with nothing to do at 8:30 and you don’t want to watch McLeod’s Daughters, you can do worse than the harmless cheekiness of Spicks and Specks. Like all panel shows this one lives and dies by the quality of its guests. My favourites are Hamish Blake and the crazy scottish (?) comedian with the long hair whose name I just can’t remember. (The same applies to the Einstein Factor where the ideal Brains Trust is Barry Jones, Gayle Jennings and Matt Parkinson…the others just don’t measure up). And Adam Hills is far preferable to Wil Anderson as host of anything. At 9pm I not only muted The Gruen Transfer but made a point of leaving the room for the duration of that program in silent (and let’s face it ineffective) protest at this ABC television atrocity. (too harsh?..perhaps..whatever)

Wednesday: The Hollowmen
Another sharply observed episode – this time on the strangling diplomatic discourses of foreign relations. However, my favourite line was the throwaway regarding the Australian film industry, “Christ, why can’t we make happy films?” (or something to that effect)…..Why, indeed?

(I see Estelle Getty from the Golden Girls passed away. The Golden Girls was staple TV viewing for me growing up in the 1980s. Why? because it was funny (and still is amusing going by the episode I caught one afternoon a little back). And also because when there were only 2 TV channels in the Wide Bay so we had to watch something. This fact also explains the huge number of episodes I watched of Full House, Who’s the Boss, The Cosby Show, Roseanne, Home Improvement and any other American sitcom you care to name).

Thursday: Q and A
I think we might well be in the midst of a televisual obsession with panel shows. Like one expert isn’t enough…let’s have a multitude. Maybe this broad genre has always been a feature of the television landscape but let’s make a little list: Q and A. Difference of Opinion, Salaam Cafe, Spicks and specks, The Einstein Factor, The Gruen Transfer, Insight (where the whole audience is a monstrous panel), Good News Week, The various Footy Shows, The Panel (although no longer airing – but at least the title made its intentions perfectly clear), First Tuesday Book Club, and others that I probably haven’t thought of. Why?…is it the simulation of conversational style, are we the audience meant to identify with one or more of the panellists and imagine ourselves up there, are the variety of opinions designed to keep us watching. Anyway, none of this happened with Q and A. I tried hard but turned it off after 30 minutes or so. The incorporation of “audience participation” and the explicit emphasis on the “liveness” of the program (in the eastern states!) doesn’t do a whole lot for me. Plus I don’t understand what an emissions trading scheme actually is, so the endless nit picking between panellists about this was mind numbing to say the least. On Spicks and Specks there’s some jokes (well intentional ones anyway!).

Thursday: Gil Mayo Mysteries
Yes I know – she’s writing about it again. But really how can you not love a program that highlights the difference between “disinterested” and “uninterested”. Also, this week there was a development in the grammar correction when it became bilingual as Gil pointed out some inaccurate French. Points too for the inclusion of Mark Philippousis in an aside conversation. In years to come this may well become “reference to obscure Australian tennis player”

Friday: Better Homes and Gardens
Does anyone else notice how there’s absolutely no decent free to air viewing on a Friday evening. Don’t those television networks realise that some of us don’t have lives and need some entertainment at home?? Anyway, this week Better Homes featured some of those disturbing hairless dogs, showed how to make sweet and sour pork which you then served up to the table in….(wait for it)….half a pineapple (for goodness sake), as well a tour of a Chinese garden in some blatant Olympics cross-promotion. What more could we want on a Friday evening. And gross out sight of the week was Dr Harry trimming the feathers around a budgie’s eye….I had to look away.

Saturday: Gardening Australia
Peter Cundall’s last show was more than a little moving. His enthusiasm for gardening is infectious, but more than that, his life seems to be a practical elaboration of his principles about the world. Something for everyone to aspire to.