Sunday
The Einstein Factor: Yay my favourite “Parko” was on the panel. Sadly, though the Factor (as it is known for short round these parts) engaged in some blatant ABC cross promotion with the Catalyst dinosaur expert man whose name escaped me. Still, Parko…he’s my favourite (after Barry Jones of course). But who’s next? Tony Jones? Kerry O’Brien (well alright he could be okay), the boring new Canberra correspondent who has failed to live up to his predecessor Jim Middleton? I know…the finance report man, Allan Kohler, with his mystifying financial speak and love of obscure graphs. It’s bad enough when we have to endure Jennifer Byrne with her overly sparkly eyes and peals of laughter in her voice. Not everything is so delightful surely, Jennifer?

Then the second half The Biggest Loser (or The Loser as it known for short around these parts). This is the most interesting episode of the week…..the weigh in! I love it. The drama of walking up to the scales, the whirling of the numbers on the scales, the inappropriately placed ad breaks to keep us watching through the boring bits. I have now made my allegiances. Get rid of the yellow whingers Holly and Mel. I am going for mother and daughter in blue (and you’d think I’d know their names seeing as they’re my favourite..but I don’t). Loving the Commando’s return…he is so lame in his black sunnies, and his tough-love. I did turn off during the revealing of the “dream outfits” last night though. Enough with the crying. Give me more scenes of torture and shouting in the the best gym in “Biggest Loser history” (a phrase, which incidentally is becoming as annoying to me as Channel Seven’s “after the tennis”). What is this Biggest Loser History and where can I get an updated copy? Oh, right, every night it’s being written on our TV screens. That’s TV history for you, ephemeral, forgettable, ever-changing and told from a number of different perspectives. You know the kind of evil postmodern history that we don’t want impressionable young minds subjected to in school. Because, goodness gracious me, we wouldn’t want them to realise that there is more than one version of the events of the past, present and future. Stop that anarchist talk this instant Ms Spiralling Shape with your fancy-schmancy Foucault-influenced take on the world.

And then Episode 2 of Cranford (or The Ford as it is known for short around these parts). I’ll just say this. I was absolutely devastated when Miss Matilda was prevented from living happily ever after due to some French pneumonia which caused the death of her one true love. But still, I can’t wait for Episode 3.

Tuesday: Sadly, I did not get to watch Doctor Who (or Doctor Who as it is known for short around these parts)as I had a visitor. Am I terrible person because at some points I would rather have been watching the television? I think I might be. Luckily it has been recorded. Phew disaster averted.

Wednesday: Spicks and Specks (or The Specks as it known for short around these parts). Okay, I’ll just come right and say it, Georgie Parker was just a leetle bit annoying. There’s no need to be quite so enthusiastic my dear, just because you are (groan) releasing an album. It’s all so cringe-inducing. And when she sang in the word-replacing game her voice was a little bit fingernails down a blackboard. Too harsh? Perhaps. Whatever. Hamish Blake is always good value. But the man who had played the piano with Frank Zappa made my evening with his Gershwin improvisation. Fabulous!

Thursday: Biggest Loser…see above..those comments apply for the whole week.
I also tried watching Chandon Pictures. Verdict: Boring (so it’s not known as short for anything). Just because you label something a comedy and then shoot on locations, in documentary style doesn’t actually mean it’s funny.

Friday: Who knows what television excitement is ahead of me for the weekend? (or The End as it is known for short around these parts).

Actually, I think there is not much excitement at all going by the TV guide, so I might consider renting Burn After Reading, and also plan to go see Ricky Gervais in Ghost Town.