Before I fell into bed particularly early last night, I did of course ensure that I managed to stay awake through the ALL IMPORTANT weigh in.

First though, the contestants had to FINISH the BIG CHALLENGE in New Zealand. Meghan baulked at the BUNGEE JUMPING. No hard feelings Meghan. I would have done the same. I mean really, that can’t be good for your insides, never mind the height factor. That meant she and Sammy were last to the BIG CHOICE of low calorie food at the FINISH LINE. Meghan wanted to make sure she took the food with the highest calories because she was READY TO GO HOME. “PICK THE SPAM”. She picked the spam and was subsequently ELIMINATED. Before she did though she gave the NOTHING BRACELET to Cam.

There was a LOT OF CRYING. There may have even been a little tear in the loungeroom but of course we don’t need to go into that. I was tired and emotional after my long car journey and the weekend of BIG EISTEDDFOD. Of course I would never cry at something as silly as THE BIGGEST LOSER. Never…never, I tell you.

Anyway, (HAHAHA) at the Survivor Island weigh-in crowd favourite Bob still continues to lose weight apace. Boofy boy Nathan who is now speaking like he IS the Commando PUT ON WEIGHT. Oh no…how could this have happened? What a BIG SHOCK. Time for Nathan to go and have a good long hard look at himself in the mirror Roy and HG style I think.

The contestants, who have now been whittled down to five, returned to Australia for their own BIG WEIGH IN. The dreaded yellow line continues to make its yellow FORCE felt in the competition. Sean, darling, you have lost all your weight whereas others like Cam and Sammy still have QUITE THE WEIGHT to lose. This means, dear Sean I think you will be going HOME tonight. Because not only are you UNDER the yellow line with CAM…you are not in the ALLIANCE. Perhaps you are one of the REBEL FORCES. I have mixed my Star Wars metaphors there but it seems appropriate.

However, wait just a little minute before you switch off the TV to avoid the blare of the dancin’ show. The previews imply Cam telling everyone to VOTE FOR HIM. What in heaven’s name is going on here? Could the Alliance be breaking up? Could this be the end for Cam? If it is, will he cry? I don’t about the first three questions but the answer to the fourth is ALWAYS YES.

Stay tooned tonight for an exciting ELIMINATION episode of TBL when everyone faces AJAY in the elimination room. Bring on the big serving platters and let’s cut some FAT.