Pink night?
What???
Here’s some suggestions for equally lame themed nights….Britney Spears night, Bros night, Kylie Minogue night, Rick Astley night, Guns and Roses night, Christina Aguilera night, Guy Sebastian night, Shannon Noll night, Skyhooks night (with Red Symons as special guest mentor and judge), Michael Bolton night, Tiffany night, New Kids on the Block night, Wiggles night, Nirvana night, Barry Manilow night, Bob Dylan night (that’s actually a serious suggestion), Burt Bacharach night (again I’m serious), You am I night, The Pogues night, van Morrison night, Elton John night, Beyonce night, Queen night, Wham night, Cranberries night, T-Rex night, Velvet Underground night, Cold Chisel night, Madonna night, Jimi Hendrix night, Elvis Costello night, Beastie Boys night, Regurgitator night, The Clash night, ….I could go on….and on.

Nathan: a song I don’t recognise..surprise. thank goodness they’ve got rid of his monster fringe. Ick…little bit out of tune there Nathan darling. Lots of pink balloons…imaginative set dressing. Yes I was bored, but more importantly what do Dicko, Marcia and Dicko no. 2 think? Dicko raving on, Marcia agrees – that’s dull. My god they’re really talking up this Pink chick. I just don’t know if singing loudly automatically equates with angst. But then Idol works by its own special entertainment rules. Dicko no. 2 repeating, repeating, repeating…..

Next….Scott….how’s Scott feeling after being in the bottom three? Scott is being very diplomatic about his dislike of Pink. Apparently he really “appreciates” her a lot more now. Good Scott. Are we going to endure these recap of contestant journeys EVERY FREAKING WEEK?
Let’s just sing the songs please. I truly haven’t heard any of these songs before. And this one made it to no. 1 in the US. That makes me a little bit sad. I’m not taking enough notice to remember what it’s called.

Now for Mr Purple Rain, Stan Walker. Seriously, momentarily, Stan has provided the only interesting moment of the series so far with his big crescendo last week. I can’t quite imagine he’s going to better that tonight. Yes, let’s look at Stan’s time on Idol so far. Because that’s not getting boring at all….Whose stupid idea was it to involve Delta Goodrem in the auditions? Really, Idol lacks credibility from the get go. It doesn’t need any extra help in that department. Stan is getting all political with something about the president. Think Stan has forgotten the words slightly…or is it meant to sound like that? Me not being the Pink expert can’t be sure I’m sorry. Okay…enough with the “hard work”…lyric fail. Stan stuffed it up apparently. Oh well…too bad so sad. Oh goodness Dicko…please don’t liken that to any kind of protest song. IT WAS LAME. Marcia is giving him “props”. *Sigh*

(Wendy is feeling a bit cranky apparently.)

Coming up after the break…Kate…

(in other news I am finishing off the last of the chocolate cake)

Right…Kate….singing something called “Trouble”. I know let’s recap her journey. Just for something different. Because we haven’t seen it every other week SO FAR. It seems everyone is learning “who they really are”. Such is the power of Australian Idol.

(Wendy is also being unnecessarily sarcastic it seems)

The repetitiveness of these songs is starting to really peeve me.” I know let’s write a song called trouble, and then repeat that word as many times as we can”. Genius.

Nice fiddle playing though. Seriously. My favourite so far…if I dare use the word “favourite” that is to mean I didn’t hate it as much as the others. I’m over the judges comments. I feel mine are far more insightful. HA!

Example: Marcia: “TV doesn’t lie”….profound yet also not true. TV does lie actually.

Who’s next? Little James..Is he 12 or what? Oh yes I’d love to look at the phone numbers. Because I will NEVER EVER ring one. I did vote once on Dancing with the Stars…for Tom Williams. I’ve learned my lesson. That will never happen again. I’m wasting time so I don’t have to suffer James’ story once again. I don’t think I ever voted for Grant Denyer. Although, he was excellent on Dancing with the Stars. Those were in the good old days when Daryl Somers was the host. Now it’s crap. I mean…crappier.

I actually liked James singing Power of Love. In a nostalgic Back to the future kind of way. Not a Huey Lewis and the News fan kind of way. Oh at last, the song. – “who knew?” Not me.
It sounds like he’s right off key at the beginning there. But who am I to criticise? Now we;’re set…in the upper register. Lil James is clearly much more comfortable. Backing vocals kicking in. Thank goodness. James just not cutting it for me. Again, flavoured with blandness. Pathetic ending. Surely they could have arranged something better than that.
Marcia…you are WRONG. He didn’t do a great job at all. JD…loves watching people grow apparently. In height? I don’t think that’s happening for James. Dicko – again with the cuteness. Oh at last someone speaking sense…sadly Dicko and I agree.

Stay with us…Mr G is pleading. Okay if you insist.

Kim…She’s the poppy one with the matching hair and teeth in whiteness terms. That’s twice they’ve said angst. I am fearful for what this song might bring me. Oh..no…wait…let’s see Kim’s journey….again…and again…and again.
Family portrait.
At least they’re using that nice violinist again.
I think I might be old. These songs lack any kind of subtlety for me, which is annoying because there is place for some of the topics Ms Pink sings about in our contemporary culture.

We’re on the downhill run now thank goodness. Only two to go.

But first, we must suffer through some cross-marketing promotional garbage for Rexona. And ads. lots of them.

Mr school teacher Toby. He’s cute I’ll give you that from the start. But can he sing Pink?? Ooooh the tension and excitement. If he tells us once more how much he misses his class I shall be…well not be sick…but bored at least. I know let’s revisit Toby’s Idol journey so far. That sounds like an original thing to do. blah blah blah blah blah blah. Just sing it.
Please don’t leave me.
Got a U2 kind of backing going here. Yes I can see why this was the last song left after everyone else had picked theirs. Most overused word by Wendy this evening. Boring. Even Toby the Teacher looks bored. Again with the repetitive lyrics “Please don’t leave me” x 100.

Marcia …noone know what you’re sayin’… but great job darlin’…. Give me a “g”!

Toby and I are on the same page Pink-wise. He has a “healthy respect for Pink”. That’s code for…”I don’t like Pink”.

Last one..Hayley…phew…I SURVIVED.
Funhouse. That sounds like it could be…fun…maybe…oh i know….let’s have a recap of the previous six or so Hayley recaps. There’s nothing as interesting as recapping. Seriously. Repetition has been the theme of the evening. Oh she’s found herself as well. Nice.

The song…I’m tired…and lost for words. See everything written above.

Cue screaming and cheering….thank god that’s over.

Bring on Harry connick jnr week.

I’m not joking.

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