Dear Harrison

I know I went away and left you alone in the house for a week. I’m very sorry. I would remind you that I did organise for a very nice lady to come in and feed you and fill up your water every day. She even told me that you sat with her on the lounge while she did some reading and kept you company. With all that in mind, I do not see why you chose to throw up on my lounge at some point today while I was at work as some kind of weird punishment for perceived neglectfulness on my part. Lucky for you and your nine lives I have a throw over aforementioned lounge. I am now washing it and I would appreciate it if such behaviour could cease and desist immediately. So I went away for a while. Build a bridge young man. Build a bridge.

Sincerely
Wendy
(your “owner”)