It happens really rarely these days but this morning I woke up with knots in my stomach and a woozily head. I was anxious about the day ahead. I had had two late nights and hadn’t slept very well. None of that helps with anxiety. Well it actually does help the anxiety. It doesn’t help with the alleviating of it.
I forced myself to get up and walked gingerly about the house. I ate breakfast and drank a cup of tea and felt a little bit better. I was getting more anxious as my beautiful colleague was returning from her Long Service LEave and was going to be at the campus to work with me today. WHAT IF I COULDN’T GO TO WORK? WHAT WAS I GOING TO WEAR? WHAT IF I NEVER FELT GOOD AGAIN? I’m sure there are a few of you identifying with this line of thinking.
I rang my Mum and she talked me back to something like normal. I sms’d work to say I would be late. I got ready in my own time. I did 5 minutes of meditation. I took some medication. I drove to work. Most importantly of all I was clear about my morning to my close colleagues. “I feeling anxious. You’ll just have to bear with me”. And they did. Beautifully and supportively. So much so (and this might have been the medication talking) that I was able to go out for lunch, contribute to meetings and stay at work until the end of the day. Did I feel great? Not really, but I felt a damn sight better, all the WHAT IFs started to recede and I started to talk myself in a kind and sensible way. Good friends and family are so important. Being honest with myself is too.
I can handle anything life throws at me. Sometimes though I just need to remind myself to take a moment. And that’s okay.2 Comments »